The Maami Chronicles: Part 3
Konjam Poruppu Varattum… கொஞ்சம் பொருப்பு வரட்டும்..
Dear all, I want to share with you the latest disease that has been afflicting the Tamil Brahmin community recently… It is remarkable, unexplainable, unfathomable… You can throw in any similar adjective and you will be bang on target with this one… Yes, I want to talk about the metamorphosis that happens in Maamis when a boy attains an age(+qualifications of course) at which marriage becomes a very real possibility -- Maamis, react to this imminent threat (that of another member of their species entering the household) in their own unique way, yes by postponing it as much as possible… This “need” or “tactic” leads to a seemingly genuine expression of concern – which is what this article is about – “கொஞ்சம் பொருப்பு வரட்டும்.. (Let him become responsible first)”.
Yes, just as a tadpole becomes a frog, larva becomes a beautiful butterfly every maami transforms herself into this phase. In fact, psychiatrists will have excellent case studies, possibly leading to Nobel Prize, if they only study the mind of Maamis who have both a daughter and a son to get married. The inordinate hurry to get the daughter married off (கடமையை நிறவேத்தியாச்சு...) will be matched ten folds by delaying tactics when it comes to get the son married. A scary split personality indeed...
Remember, this is the same Maami, that looks for “Tuition” when the kid is in LKG as the board exam is only 12 years away… Or Worry about cable tv or cricket matches as “exams” are only years away, plan everything from “This lecturer coaches for Fluid Thermodynamic expansion paragraph question (yes one question) better than others” to having a caesarean birth (“You know, DOB is a tie breaker to Anna University Rank”) -- plans for that day when the Boy enters college (with Centums galore in almost all subjects except for Tamizh) years in advance. But undergoes tremendous transformation when it comes to getting the boy married off.
What is the responsibility they want the boy to have met ? I have tried to have rational/logical conversations around this but only end up banging my head against the wall of “responsibility”. “Life-ல செட்டில் ஆனப்புறம் பாக்கலாம்” is the universal answer to everything… With total ignorance about how availability of girls in the community has gone down. Though the community doesn’t’ indulge in large scale female infanticide, still most of them once their first kid is a boy, stop having more children. The “younger sister” crowd which is usually around 33% of the girl demographics is by and large gone!!!
Consider this, a boy with all “centums” & finished his BE (of course in computer science), is driven towards masters only because of “Poruppu” -- even with a firm job a car etc. is brainwashed into “Innum Konjam poruppu varattum”. To me, it appears that Hair Loss and lack of fitness will come ahead of “Poruppu”. If Veedu, Caru all are fundamental requirement then trust me 80% of the males only get married at 40+
My Advice, to all youngsters, “Get married a.s.a.p. !”. A partner, who is with you in the journey towards establishing yourselves, is much more likely to stand by you in times of need as well. What is more atrocious is it is not the thought that “My boy has to marry a girl and support her as well, hence I want the basics right” that is behind the whole exercise. You can bet, they want another “Anna University graduate girl, who will not ‘waste’ her education” as the bride…. (== works her butt off bringing in lots of “salary”)
Wake up Young Men (& women too)…..
PS: Somehow, Mama’s (having undergone the pain of a “late marriage”) are more open, than the Maamis who fight it tooth and nail… Hence the focus on Maamis for this article.