Friday, June 25, 2010

How to be in the good books of மாமிஸ்...

மாமிகளை கவர்வது எப்படி ?

I had written an earlier blog about how Maami’s have evolved in their lifetime and made an attempt to understand their mindset. Now, over a period of time, I observed that some people are extremely favorably treated by the Maami’s. But some who do lot of work are not at all viewed favorably by Maamis. It was a paradox for me but I think that I finally got it !!

Specimen 1: Will constantly yell “Vaango” to every guest that enters the house. But will not do a damn thing after that. But for “good manners” this specimen will get top marks from Maamis.

Specimen 2: This species will fake that they don’t know what the Nakshathram, or Thithi is without any motive or purpose wonder when the next Pradosham is etc. Of course, they will get top marks. They may not even remember a single sloka or any of the rituals but they know which buttons to push etc.

Specimen 3: Every sentence will be sprinkled with “Enga Aathulayellam”, “Enga Koilillayellam” etc. kinds of nonsense all around - irrespective of its relevance to the context or occasion.

Speciman 4: This species will cook shit, but will provoke a positive reaction from you. Usually they will serve with a caution “நானே பண்ணினது, சுமாராத்தான் இருக்கும் ...”. Their strategy is to get Maamis in a condescending mood and the reaction invariably is “Paravaillai amma, nannathan irukku” giving marks for “Panividai” and politeness. One such candidate tried the same technique on me, but got a “பரவாயில்லை என்ன கண்றாவின்னாலும் நான் சாப்டுடுவேன்” as a response. She stopped this technique after this with me 

Specmen 5: This is the ultimate one. Mami’s generally frown upon their daughter-in-laws dressing well. This is Tamil serial induced mentality. If you observe the tamil serials, the one with oiled up hair, with a kondai and perennially in a nightie looking like she is about to take a bath any moment is – THE HEROINE ! The one with matching blouse -- is a woman of low values, matching jewelry -- a woman of low morals. God forbid – if there are matching high heels then -- she is THE VILLAIN !!!. So certain females, who regularly go to beauty parlors get eyebrows threaded and usual waxing facials etc. have tuned the fine art of communicating it to Maamis. The strategy is as follows: “பாருங்கோ மாமி (in a musical tone), இன்னிக்கு ப்யூடி பார்லரில் waxingக்கு மயிரே கிடைக்கவில்லை, ஐயோ கடவுளேண்ணு பிரார்த்தனை பண்ணி லலிதா சகஸ்ரநாமம் சொன்னேன், அப்படியே மயிர் எல்லாம் புல்லரித்து நின்னுது, பராக் பராக் ன்னு waxing முடிஞ்சு போச்சு !!!”. Shockingly, at this statement the Mamis will dote over that female and notch her way up in their pecking order of Kudumba Pongal !!!

So my tips…
1. Liberally, use Vaango, Yenna Maami (in a very musical tone) in your conversations.
2. Just wait when the workhorse in the house does everything and after the serving of the food is finished, dart over and ask “Sappittaelaa Maami” (really musical tone), this will swing the full credit your way.
3. If you are a lazy bum, who has no clue whatsoever about kitchen or how to run a household, then get food from outside for all meals during the day. But ensure that Maami hears you reciting slokas for an hour that is it all your sins are forgiven…

More tips are welcome, send them my way…..

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